We swore the spider into office as mayor today. Quite the turnout at Town Hall, but that’s to be expected. The first female mayor in town history. That’s progress for you!
She campaigned on ridding our town of undesirables, and it was that promise that clinched her election. A return to conservative values. She’s already made good on that promise by spinning up the former mayor in her webbing and suspending him from the ceiling. A message to all, and food for later. Finally, some government efficiency!
Of course, some in the community have expressed concerns that the mayor will eat her supporters alongside her detractors, as if she were some sort of animal. Nonsense, of course. Her campaign has assured us that she would not descend upon anyone who wasn’t an undesirable.
I’m not worried. The way I see it, this is the start of a bright future!
***
Only one week into the spider’s mayoral term and already the town square looks better than ever: No bums loitering on benches. No punks skateboarding around the fountain. No foreigners muttering their garbled language. Just the way things used to be!
Town Hall has gone through a bit of a redesign internally. The mayor is really making herself at home. Her campaign did say she’d be moving her family into her quarters as well, and it’s quite an extensive family from what I hear. We voters love that! Traditional American family values!
***
More changes for the good outside Town Hall! No reporters waiting to spring their gotcha questions on unsuspecting civil servants. No protesters waving their illiterate signs and shouting incoherent slogans. No lawyers telling clients to keep quiet while ushering them off to the tinted windows of their waiting cars. All calm and quiet. A little more trash than usual. The garbage collectors are behind schedule for some reason.
Town Hall is changing a bit on the inside, too. There are… a lot of webs in the building now, and a lot of other spiders moving about them, up in the shadows. The mayor’s family, of course. It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s just that there are a lot more than we expected. They skitter restlessly, up among the rafters, where great silken spindles hang suspended, the weight of whatever is inside of them sometimes wriggling, shifting… moaning.
Our glorious mayor herself watches from high above her seat of power, motionless, ever vigilant but never threatening, not to those who elevated her to such a lofty position. We can come and go as we please because we trust our mayor.
The spider has promised it will not descend on anyone except undesirables.
The town square remains immaculate. Not one pigeon dares to squawk or squabble upon the fountain, and not so much as a squirrel can be seen begging for food scraps.
Come to think of it, it’s the quietest I’ve heard the square this time of day. There’s usually kids running around and screaming during recess at the school across the way. And normally, people are out and about on their lunch hour or smoke breaks. It’s funny. There’s just no one here anymore.
It’s not just quiet, it’s… sterile. I’m sure it’s fine. Maybe it’s just taking some time to get used to the way things used to be!
***
The mayor’s family caused a bit of a stir last night, the rascals. Seems they, what was the word the survivors used, “swarmed,” I think, though that sounds biased.
The mayor’s family did enter our local hospital overnight, and they made off with most of the patients in the pediatric wing. I’m told that many, if not all, of the children there were terminally ill, so maybe it was for the best, but my fellow citizens are upset regardless.
The mayor’s staff told us that her family has been advised not to eat the children of lawful citizens in the future if at all possible. They reminded us that the undesirables have been taken care of, fulfilling her campaign promise.
The mayor herself, of course, will not descend; of that we are well-assured.
***
There’s a shortage of law enforcement officers lately. Some are missing entirely, and many others have simply fled with their families in the night. The mayor’s office said it was all part of the plan to lessen budgetary strain since the town’s undesirables have been removed. Reduction in force was always on the table.
I’ve been asked to step into a temporary supervisory role as a consultant between the mayor’s office and the rest of the town council. I look forward to improving relations with her regal mayor, who, as I must remind my friends and fellow citizens, has promised not to descend.
***
Today, I was told the mayor wanted to see me personally. Something about rumors spreading around town. Vicious rumors saying how monstrous and inhuman she was, and how, despite this being a warning sounded by the opposition—who have been summarily consumed or left dangling in Town Hall—her supporters had ignored the warning signs at their own peril.
But I’ll be alright. Even if the others are gone, I’ve been her most outspoken supporter. Perhaps even a promotion is in order, a reward of some kind. And while I confess I find myself a bit nervous to be in her magnificent presence, I remember the promise she made us, her loyal voters.
The spider has promised it will not descend…
The spider has promised…
The spider…
Dave Trumbore is a writer/editor with some 15+ years experience for news sites such as Collider, Nerdist, and Law360. His fiction novels have more than 15,000 downloads, with his “Knucklebones” crime thriller series being the most popular.
@DrClawMD on Twitch and Bluesky